


Waning Moon

by masadora



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Hurt/Comfort, Kind of a Crescent Rise AU but Not, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:15:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23161570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masadora/pseuds/masadora
Summary: All Gaku ever wanted was to protect him. But in this line of work, that's much easier said than done.
Relationships: Kujou Ten & Nanase Riku, Kujou Ten/Yaotome Gaku
Comments: 42
Kudos: 108





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been calling this my "Not-Crescent-Rise AU" because it was inspired by the Crescent Rise MV, but also...like, I do what I want lol, so it's a loose connection at best. There are certain scenes that correspond to what happened in the MV, but the context is all different. You'll also find that this story has absolutely no relevance to the canon Mikazuki Ookami plot.

“I asked you a _question!_ ”

The next blow comes not from the whip, but from a fist straight to the face. Gaku lets out a ragged gasp as his head snaps to one side, and his chair tips dangerously from the force of the blow. The metallic taste of blood fills his mouth.

He can hear his captor breathing heavily. The other man is getting impatient, and that’s fine – after all, impatience often leads to carelessness, and that’s exactly what Gaku needs.

When he hears the familiar sound of the whip cracks against the floor, Gaku braces himself for another blow. But they’re interrupted by loud creaking of the rusty door, signifying the arrival of another government soldier. The urgency to their tone sends a flicker of satisfaction through Gaku. They must be panicking from the rapid territory losses all over the country, but everything’s already been set in motion. Soon, this city will be freed like the rest.

While the soldiers speak in low, murmured voices too quiet for him to hear, Gaku wriggles his wrists again from where they’ve bound behind his back. The ropes are coming loose. Slowly, slowly...he just has to bide his time.

Then he’ll go find Tenn, and get them both out of here.

When the door clicks shut again and a rough hand tangles into his hair, he braces himself for the next blow. Instead, light floods his vision as the blindfold is yanked off of his face. Gaku blinks rapidly, trying to adjust to the sudden brightness, and looks up only to find that the government soldier had circled behind him, out of his field of vision.

“I’ve realized,” he says, in a low voice. “That you’re more trouble than you’re worth.”

Gaku barks out a laugh. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Oh, you can laugh _now_ ,” Even without seeing his face, he can hear when the soldier’s expression turns into a sneer. “But everyone has a weakness, Yaotome Gaku. Including you.”

He trails off contemplatively. Gaku bares his teeth in a snarl.

“There’s nothing more you can threaten me with.”

“Is that so? But we have quite a bit of intel on you and that group of upstart rebels.” The soldier’s tone drops, the next words murmured directly into his ear. “For instance...that boy you’re working with. Is it common for mission leaders to fraternize with their subordinates?”

A jolt of ice-cold fear grips Gaku’s chest. He tries to school his face into a mask of indifference, but something must have shown because the enemy soldier’s expression twists gleefully. “So that boy _is_ your lover! Well, then,” he leans forward, eyes gleaming. “That makes it much easier, doesn’t it?”

Gaku grits his teeth. “He’s got nothing to do with this.”

“But that’s where you’re wrong, Yaotome,” the man breathes. “Because if _you_ won’t tell us...well, perhaps we can get your little angel to sing instead.”

As if on cue, a scream pierces the air.

Unable to keep the reaction off his face, Gaku’s head snaps up. The government soldier _laughs_ , and there’s a clatter as he tosses the whip aside. “Lovely, isn’t he?” his voice is almost a purr. “I should thank you for bringing that sweet little thing to us.”

His next breath stutters in his throat. Gaku flinches when Tenn wails again, his voice barely dampened by the wall separating them.

For Tenn to be making that sound– _Tenn_ , of all people–

“ _Bastard!_ ” Gaku roars, wrenching himself sideways and twisting around to lunge at the enemy soldier, only to get yanked back by the chain on his ankle. The other man laughs as Gaku loses his balance and goes crashing to the ground. The chair falls with him, sharp wooden edges digging painfully into his skin.

“Now _that’s_ the reaction I’m looking for,” the soldier’s grin is so wide it splits from cheek to cheek. “I don’t know why I didn’t try this sooner.”

Gaku snarls again, staggering to his knees. “What are you doing to him?!”

“I’m sure you can guess.” The soldier’s pleasant tone is juxtaposed by the brutal kick he digs into Gaku’s stomach, sending him sprawling again. As he gasps, wheezing for breath, the pressure of the other soldier’s boots press down against the side of his head. “So you better start talking, and talk _fast_. I don’t know how long you’ve got until he breaks.”

In the other room, Tenn’s screams resume.

Gaku thrashes, but it’s impossible to move from his position with both hands bound behind the chair like this. “He won’t– he doesn’t _know–_ ”

“But you do, don’t you?” the man’s heels press down harder. “Mr. Mission Leader.”

In that moment, Gaku is honestly tempted to tell the truth and say everything he knows. However, he’s also painfully aware of the fact that their information is the _only_ thing useful about them right now; once that’s gone, the enemy will have no reason to keep them here. In fact, their very lives will become a liability.

He can’t guarantee Tenn’s safety that way.

The stone floor is damp against his cheeks. “Let him go. Whatever you want to do, just–” to Gaku’s horror, his voice cracks. “ _Please_. Just take it out on me instead.”

“You know that’s not what we want,” the man says. He raises his foot and steps back. “Now you can either give us the information, or we can both sit here and listen to that pretty songbird scream. Personally, I wouldn’t mind either.”

His captor circles to the front again and draws up a chair. The whip and blindfold lie forgotten on the floor, no longer necessary.

Gaku’s bitten through the skin of his lips, and breathing so shallowly he thinks he might pass out. There’s a trail of helpless tears sliding down his face, but he doesn’t dare look up to see what kind of triumphant expression his captor might be wearing right now. Even when he closes his eyes, there’s no blocking out the sounds from the other side of the wall.

_“Hey, use that thing somewhere else – it’ll be a shame to mess up his face so quickly.”_

Tenn is harder to hear, and he must be trying to muffle himself – but the other person in there with him clearly has no such reservations. There’s the sound of laughter, cruel words interjected by the cracking of a whip over the floor.

_“No need to hide your screams, darling. Go on.”_ A different voice. There’s two people there with Tenn. _“This doesn’t have to be so hard, you know. Your lover is in the next room. Beg for him to help you.”_

Tenn doesn’t beg. In fact, his noises become considerably more muted, though still audible between the thin walls. The next cry that’s torn from him is animalistically raw.

Gaku gives a full-body shudder. He can’t help it – all traces of pride forgotten, his head jerks up to look at the enemy soldier with desperation. “Please stop them! I’m begging you– just, _please_ ,” his chest heaves. “Don’t hurt Tenn anymore!”

“You know what you have to do."

He does. Of course he does, but… “If I talk, will you guarantee his safety?”

“Of course.”

It’s a lie. Gaku can tell that much, from looking into the soldier’s eyes. His head drops down again, though nothing can hold back the strangled sobs bubbling up in his throat.

Tenn’s muffled cries continue to echo in the dimly-lit room. As the minutes pass, he gets quieter and quieter until, at what Gaku estimates to be past the half-hour mark, the other men’s voices become the only thing he can hear. Eventually, there’s a loud _clang_ , of something that might have been the closing of another door.

Gaku listens carefully, but there’s no more talking. One of the soldiers had left.

It’s now or never.

Very slowly, Gaku flexes his fingers to make sure they haven’t gone numb. He takes in a shallow breath, then stretches out his leg ever so slightly to brace his heel against the wall.

“...What do you want to know?”

His captor, who had begun to look quite bored, turns towards him with an expression of surprise. “Oh? Finally ready to talk?”

“Let me see him first. To make sure he’s alright.”

The enemy soldier shakes his head. “That’s not how this works.”

“Fine, then.” Gaku keeps his voice low. Listless. “Help me sit up, and I’ll tell you all I know.”

He holds his breath as footsteps sound, slowly getting closer. Then, when the soldier is right in front of him–

Gaku yanks his arms out of the loosened ropes. At the same time, he kicks off the wall as hard as he can, twisting his body and bashing into his captor’s legs with all his strength. As the soldier goes down with a yelp, Gaku lunges for the gun on his belt.

The man howls as the first bullet rips through his shoulder. The second one takes him through the head.

There’s a shout from the next room over – no doubt, the gunshots had rung out loud and clear, too. Still on the ground, Gaku raises the pistol and empties three bullets into the other soldier’s chest the moment he steps inside.

He allows himself a single deep breath before hurriedly searching through his captor’s pockets and fishing out a small silver key. The chain around his ankles open with a small _click_ , and Gaku stumbles to his feet before dashing to the next room over.

“Tenn! Tenn, are you–”

The words die in his throat, and he staggers a few steps forward before falling to his knees.

Tenn’s always been delicately-built but he looks so heartbreakingly fragile like this, splayed motionless across the floor with hands tied behind his back. His shirt is torn, with blood and burn marks scattered all over his bare torso. The ground is wet with a sickening metallic smell. While the soldiers had been mindful to limit Gaku’s beatings for the sake of requiring coherence for the interrogation, they’d not bothered to do that with Tenn.

Some parts of him are so mottled with bruises that Gaku can’t even see the original colour of his skin. Only the faint rise and fall of his chest indicated that he was still alive at all.

Even as the rational part of his brain notes that this is their only chance to leave and more guards will probably come soon, but Gaku can’t help letting out a strangled sob as he gathers Tenn’s body into his arms, cradling him gently as if he’s made of glass.

Tenn stirs slightly at the movement. The side of his face is swollen, and there’s a glazed-over, unfocused look in his eyes – it takes Tenn several moments before he finally seems to recognize the person in front of him.

“Ga...ku…?”

“I’m here, Tenn,” Gaku chokes out. “It’s going to be alright.”

Slowly, Tenn’s gaze drift to the side. Slowly taking in the situation, he gives a shudder and ducks his head, hiding his face in Gaku’s chest. “Where’s the…?” he shudders, each breath short and shallow. “The ones here with me.”

“Dead. I dealt with him.” Gaku hugs him a little closer, wrapping his arms around Tenn as if to shield him from the world. “I…” his voice breaks. “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t…”

Wordlessly, Tenn curls a little closer.

Tears spill down Gaku’s cheeks. “I wanted to tell,” he admits, and the sob catches in his throat. “But I thought– once I told them what they wanted, if they just _killed_ you afterwards…!”

“You made the right choice. I would’ve...hah, if you had told, I would’ve kicked your ass myself.” Despite his brave words, Tenn’s hand trembles when he reaches up to tangle his fingers in Gaku’s shirt. “And you, you’re not…?”

“I’m not hurt.”

“Good,” Tenn lets out a small, breathy sigh. The tension drains out of his shoulders, and the shadow of a smile drifts across his face before he tugs Gaku down to nuzzle gently against his cheek. “You’re safe. I’m...so glad…”

He trails off, eyes glazing over again. Gaku hugs him more tightly, pressing a gentle kiss against his forehead. “Just hold on a little longer, Tenn,” he murmurs. “We’ll get out of here.

“And this time, I’ll keep you safe.”

* * *

Ryuu is waiting for them outside of the shabby warehouse building. He’s the only member of the special operational group TRIGGER that had managed to escape capture when their last operation went south, and Gaku practically collapses with relief when he sees that familiar head of brown hair waving him over in the shadows of a nearby alleyway.

“I got orders to pull back, but I was sure you two would make it out,” Ryuu whispers, then frowns and cranes his head as if expecting to see something behind Gaku. “Where’s…?”

Gaku pulls back his cloak to reveal the small, unconscious figure in his arms. All colour drains from Ryuu’s face.

“They tried to get to me through him,” Gaku says in a tight voice. “Let’s go back. Tenn needs medical treatment.”

Ryuu stops him. “Wait, Gaku– we can’t return to the apartment anymore.”

Figures. Those guys know way too much about them already, and their temporary residence must have been one of the first bits of info leaked. “Okay,” Gaku sucks in a deep breath, his mind spinning. “Okay. What about the–”

“Also compromised,” Ryuu’s shoulders droop. “I thought we’d be able to wait it out tonight, then catch the morning train back to headquarters, but…”

Gaku grits his teeth in frustration. “Tenn can’t wait that long!”

“I know. I _know_ , Gaku.”

Ryuu’s expression twists with the same helplessness, and both of them look down at Tenn as they consider their current options. A hospital would be too public, too open – even with government troops retreating and pulling out of the city, that’s just asking for trouble. But insurgency agents from their own headquarters aren’t stationed here either, so there’s no other arrangements to be found in the middle of the night. Moving around too much would risk alerting their pursuers.

Eventually, it’s Ryuu who speaks up. “Tenn won’t like this idea,” he starts off hesitantly. “But if I remember right…doesn’t Riku-kun…?”

Gaku’s head snaps up. To say that Tenn ‘won’t like this’ is definitely an understatement, but…

“That’s fine,” he says. “If Tenn tries to kill me later, so be it.”

* * *

Nanase Riku’s clinic is situated in a small, run-down plaza between the inner city and surrounding suburbs. Gaku and Ryuu duck their heads as they sneak through the dimly-lit area, and Gaku raps his knuckles sharply against the back door.

It takes several moments, but eventually the door fumbles open to reveal a red-haired boy with bleary eyes and mismatched pajamas.

“The clinic is closed,” Riku mumbles through an enormous yawn, practically slumped against the doorframe. “Please come back tomorrow, I open at...nine…”

He trails off, ruby eyes widening at the sight of the body in Gaku’s arms.

“I’m sorry, Nanase,” Gaku whispers. “It’s Tenn _–_ I didn’t know where else to go, he needs _–_ ”

Slim fingers wrap around his wrist before Riku drags him inside with surprising strength. He slams the door shut after Gaku and Ryuu, locking it and swiftly drawing down the blinds before starting to pull open drawers for medical supplies.

“Let me see him.”

“Nanase–”

“I _said_ let me see him!”

Riku’s words are a snarl as he whirls around with a medical scalpel in hand. Gaku snaps his mouth shut, and meekly lowers Tenn onto the couch before backing away.

He’s helpless to do much else but watch as Riku kneels next to Tenn, checking his pulse before quickly moving to do a sweep on his other vitals. There’s a sharp intake of breath when he cuts Tenn’s ragged shirt open to reveal the extent of the injuries on his torso. Riku’s gone as pale as a ghost and, even in the dim light, it’s clear that his hands are shaking.

Ryuu and Gaku exchange a worried look. While they’ve both had basic first aid training, Tenn was the medical expert of their group and had always taken care of things when they got banged up during missions – now, the situation had reversed, and the uncertainty is killing him. “Nanase,” Gaku can’t help saying. “Is he…?”

Riku doesn’t answer right away, and takes the time to inspect the gash on Tenn’s forehead before standing up and wiping his bloodied hand on a clean towel. “You know,” he finally says. “I really don’t want to talk to you right now.”

Gaku grimaces. _That’s fair._

“Help me carry him back to my room,” Riku continues. “Tenn-nii’s injuries aren’t critical, but they’ll get worse if I don’t disinfect and dress them properly.”

Given his reaction, it really shouldn’t have come as a surprise when Riku moves to shoo him away as soon as Gaku’s carried Tenn in and set him on the bed. Gaku digs his heels into the hardwood floor. “Why can’t I stay?” he tries to protest, craning his neck to look over the top of Riku’s head. “I can help too, I know how to treat some–”

“All you know is _first aid_ ,” Riku hisses the last two words like an insult. He had once been all smiles and so, so sweet. The difference now is chilling. “Out of the two of us, just which one is the doctor? You’ve got a lot of nerve, Yaotome-san, to talk about ‘helping’ him when we both know just who got Tenn-nii into this mess in the first place.”

He slams the door in Gaku’s face.

“Riku-kun doesn’t mean it,” Ryuu tries to console him, back in the living room. “It must have been a shock for him to see Tenn like that.”

“He’s not wrong, though,” Gaku stares numbly down at the floor. “This whole thing happened because of me. The interrogators, they…” he swallows dryly. “They made sure I heard him, Ryuu. They did that all so _I_ would talk.”

“And if you had talked, both you and Tenn would be dead right now.” Ryuu pats his shoulder once more. “You’re exhausted, right? I’ll go make you something to eat.”

“Nanase’s gonna be mad if you use his kitchen.”

Ryuu smiles wryly. “I’ll make something for him, too, as an apology.”

Once upon a time, Riku would’ve welcomed them with open arms and a big smile. That was before Tenn left to follow him; they grew closer with one another and TRIGGER’s foundations as a three-man team were set, Riku’s attitude towards Gaku and Ryuu had become noticeably more frosty. He only puts on a happy front when Tenn’s there, and Gaku can only assume it’s an attempt to protect Tenn’s feelings – after all, anyone would be sad to see that their family and significant other didn’t get along.

The outright hostility Riku showed today is new, but Gaku can’t say that he didn’t deserve it.

Time passes in a blur. When Riku finally steps out several hours later, Ryuu had gone out again to check the area and there’s half a plate of sandwiches on the table. Gaku looks up, several questions about Tenn’s condition right on the tip of his tongue, only to do a double take when he sees Riku advancing with a syringe in hand. For a wild moment, he wonders if he’d escaped his captors only to die here of some kind of lethal injection.

“N-N-Nanase, wait,” he sputters, leaping to his feet. “I can explain–”

He’s cut off as Riku closes the distance between them and decks him straight in the face. It’s a light blow compared to what he’d just experienced early that night, but the shock of it sends Gaku stumbling before he falls flat on his ass.

“You’d _better_ explain,” Riku spits out, standing over him and almost trembling with barely-restrained anger. “Do you even know how many lacerations and burns I had to treat just now? How is it that _you_ ,” he jabs the syringe at Gaku, stopping mere inches in front of his face. “Are more or less fine while Tenn-nii’s lying there unconscious? You–”

His breath catches. Riku makes a choked sound, shoulders heaving, then bursts into tears.

“You promised me that you’d protect him with your life! You _promised_ ,” he wails, and for a second he seems much more like the younger, wide-eyed boy Gaku had met all those years ago. But that illusion is shattered by the weight of grief in his eyes as Riku throws the syringe down on the table, wiping furiously at his face. “And I believed you! So how can you bring him back to me like– like _this–?_ ”

Gaku opens his mouth, but the words wouldn’t come out.

And really, what _can_ he say?

“I’m sorry,” is all he can whisper. “I couldn’t protect him.”

Riku doesn’t try to hit him again, but his eyes are filled with such hatred that it’s frightening to see. Digging through his pocket, he pulls out a bloodstained ruby pendant.

“Do you know what this is?”

“...It’s the memento you’d exchanged with Tenn.” Gaku knows for a fact that Riku has a mirroring pink pendant, one that the twins had given to each other the day before Tenn left their hometown. “He wears it all the time.”

“Yeah. It was my way of giving you guys my blessing, and I thought Tenn-nii would need something to remember me by. But if I had known that this is how things would go,” Riku closes his fist, hiding the tiny piece of jewelry from sight. “I would never have allowed him to leave with you.”

Gaku flinches. “I know.”

“I supported your relationship back then because it made Tenn-nii happy,” Riku continues tremulously. “I didn’t understand exactly what it was that you were doing. I don’t think Tenn-nii did, either. He just...wanted to go with you, because he loved you.”

“...I know.”

“You should never have allowed him to follow you!” Riku’s voice tilts shrilly again, and he lets out a growl of frustration before spinning back around and kicking the table hard enough for it to shake. “Rebellions, insurgencies...you might’ve been born into it with your dad or whatever, but Tenn-nii wasn’t. If not for you– if not for you, I could’ve convinced Tenn-nii to quit! He would have come back to the clinic. We could’ve worked together again, here, where it’s safe.” He sucks in a deep breath. “He got involved for _you_.”

“I didn’t mean–”

_“If not for you, Tenn-nii would never have gotten hurt!”_

Everything he said was true. Gaku’s already cried so much tonight it feels like he should’ve cried himself dry, but the weight of Riku’s accusations sent a rush of new tears down his cheek. “I _know_ , Nanase,” he chokes out. “This is all my fault.”

“If you know, then do something about it,” Riku sneers. He spins on his heel, heading back to his bedroom. “Until then, I don’t want to see your face ever again.”

* * *

The night passes without further incident, but it’s impossible to relax. Riku’s just a civilian, after all, and Gaku can’t help but jump at every odd sound with the expectations of an attack. He desperately wants to check on Tenn, too, but the door to Riku’s bedroom is firmly shut and it’s clear that his presence won’t be welcomed by the younger sibling.

Gaku makes it to about eight-thirty in the morning before he cracks.

When he pushes the door open, he’s greeted by the sight of Tenn sitting up in bed. Most of Tenn is wrapped in bandages and there's an ugly bruise swelling his right eye shut, but he’s awake and responsive. The twins are speaking with their heads bent close together, both looking up at Gaku’s entrance.

Not even Riku’s scowl can stifle the immense relief he feels at that moment. “Tenn, you’re awake!” Gaku can't help beaming as he rushes in. “Are you alright? How do you feel?”

“Sore, but otherwise fine.” Gingerly, Tenn shifts his gauze-covered arm to test the range of movement. “These wounds were mostly superficial.”

“Tenn-nii,” Riku’s voice is full of disapproval. “That’s a total lie. I had to give you tons of stitches.”

“Yes, and you did a good job,” Tenn soothes, squeezing his hand. “Thank you, Riku.”

Riku sighs. His eyes flicker back up at Gaku, and for a second Gaku wonders if he’s about to get chewed out again. But then, Riku’s expression changes, lips tilting up into a easy smile to match his suddenly upbeat voice.

“It’s almost opening hours, so I’m gonna go now. There are some appointments I can’t reschedule.” Riku pats Tenn twice on the arm before turning to face Gaku. “Yaotome-san will look after Tenn-nii while I’m gone, right?”

His smile is simpering. Sweet. And within the context of last night, honestly a little creepy.

“Uh,” Gaku honestly doesn’t know how he’s supposed to react. “Yeah, I, um...sure, of course.”

“Will you be alright, Riku?” Tenn asks. “You must not have gotten much sleep last night.”

Riku smiles again. “I’ll be okay. You just lie back and rest!”

And with that, he’s gone. Gaku blinks rapidly at his departing figure, then gives a baffled shake of his head before taking a seat next to Tenn. Gently, he reaches out to brush some flyaway strands of hair out of Tenn’s face.

Tenn allows the contract, but he doesn’t smile. “Imagine my surprise,” he starts, in a tone like the calm before the storm. “When I woke up here, in Riku’s clinic.”

_(“I could’ve convinced Tenn-nii to quit! He would have come back to the clinic!”)_

Riku’s accusatory words echo inside his head. Gaku hesitates. “It used to be your clinic, too.”

He realizes it’s the wrong thing to say when Tenn narrows his eyes, making a furious hissing sound between his teeth. It’s startlingly similar to the expression Riku had worn just before punching him in the face. If not for the fact that both of Tenn’s arms are bandaged, Gaku suspects he might have done just that.

Instead, Tenn jerks him forward by the collar – or rather, he tries to. It ends up being more like a feeble tug, betraying just how weak his injuries have really left him.

Still, there’s nothing weak about the fire in Tenn’s voice, or the way his eyes are blazing with anger. “And what does that have to do with anything? It looks like your memory needs some work, so let me refresh it for you: this is a _civilian_ residence!”

“But–”

“Riku’s clinic is for civilians only! How dare you involve him!”

“The other places were compromised! We didn’t have anywhere else to go,” Gaku protests feebly. “You were in really bad shape.”

“I would’ve been fine to wait one more night, until we can catch the train back. And even if I’m not,” Tenn shakes him. “ _You_ _don’t involve Riku_. Got that?”

“I took you here because he’s a doctor!”

“I don’t care!” Tenn snaps. “I don’t want Riku involved under any circumstance. Do you understand or not?!”

He gets the sentiment. Really, he does. But if Gaku’s honest with himself, he hadn’t been thinking about Riku’s safety at that moment. In fact, it hadn’t been a priority at all.

Not when...

“...You can’t ask me to watch you _die_ , Tenn.”

Something must’ve shown in his voice, because Tenn’s grip on his shirt slackens. Gaku takes a deep, shuddering breath and hangs his head, letting it come to a rest on Tenn’s shoulder. “You don’t know how you looked back there,” he continues in a hoarse whisper. “I wasn’t even sure if you were alive at first, after all the things they did to you.”

The image of Tenn lying lifelessly on the ground had been burned into his memories. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to forget it, for as long as he lives.

“The whole time I was listening, I kept waiting for an opportunity.” Now that Gaku’s started talking, the rest of the words come spilling out. “I thought I’d be able to take them out if there’s only one more in the other room. But the longer it went on, the more I thought–” he swallows dryly. “I thought I was waiting too long. That if this kept going, you would...”

The words catch in his throat.

Slowly, a pair of arms come up to wrap gingerly around him. “I’m alive, Gaku,” Tenn’s voice is very soft. “It’s alright. I’m here with you.”

“I...I’m sorry I endangered Nanase,” Gaku says, voice cracking. “I knew you would hate it. But you weren’t waking up, and I was afraid to wait.”

Tenn hugs him a little tighter. “Riku told you already, right? My life wasn’t in danger. Regardless of what you heard last night...” he falters slightly, then shakes his head. “I’m fine. It doesn’t matter, because you got both of us out in the end.”

But is it really?

He got them out this time. What about next time? And the time after that?

_(“If not for you, Tenn-nii would never have gotten hurt!”)_

Gaku knew he was the key reason for Tenn’s change of careers and the new dangers it exposed him to. It seemed fine, at the time. Tenn was clever and capable, quickly distinguishing himself as an invaluable asset through his medical expertise and sharp mind. Even with their habitual squabbles, they worked exceedingly well together.

And despite the tough and unsavory nature of his work, Gaku can hardly recall a time when he was happier. He’d gotten used to falling asleep next to Tenn’s presence, and waking up with a small body cuddled to his side for warmth. When they shared meals together, Tenn would complain about his singular menu but still empty his bowl of soba every time. Gaku didn’t have to make excuses to travel across the country and visit that civilian clinic anymore, because Tenn was already with him. 

He hated doing this, but...with Tenn, it was a little more bearable.

But now, he wonders if he should have never made those visits in the first place. By allowing – no, _encouraging_ Tenn to follow him, he’d torn Tenn away from the safety of a civilian life.

Everything Riku said was true.

“Do you ever think about going back to this clinic?” Gaku asks quietly.

Tenn looks caught off guard. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“I was just...wondering if you missed it. You liked working here.”

“I do,” Tenn says, after a moment. He sounds contemplative. “But I'm not about to quit _now_. I made up my mind when I left, you know.”

Tenn doesn’t say it, but Gaku knows he enjoys his medical work much more than the field missions he takes now. Tenn is a good shot and an even better strategist, making him a natural asset on the backfield, but he used to wince every time he held up the gun. Tenn liked to help people. This kind of work doesn't suit him.

“Gaku?”

Some of Tenn’s earlier anger had faded. He looks mostly concerned now, peering up with large, inquisitive eyes. He gives a yelp when Gaku’s arms suddenly snake around his waist to pull him close against his chest.

“What are you– _ouch_ ,” Tenn hisses. “I’ve got stitches there!”

“Sorry.” Gaku loosens his grip, but keeps his face buried in the crook of Tenn’s neck. His words come out muffled. “Just let me stay like this for a while.”

Tenn huffs, but doesn’t protest. A second later, Gaku feels tender hands comb through his hair and the ghost of a kiss pressed against his cheek.

“When this is all over, I want to return to the clinic with Riku,” Tenn says gently. “Come back with me.”

“I’d make a lousy medical assistant.”

“Who said I’d want you as an assistant? No,” Tenn hums. “You can open up that soba restaurant you’ve always wanted. This plaza can do with a new place to eat, I think.”

Gaku laughs, sounding all choked up. “I’d like that.”

His current life is with Tenn. His future dreams are with Tenn, too, and he doesn’t want to give that up.

But the world had shown that it’s fully capable of tearing Tenn away from him.

Next time, he might not have a choice.

* * *

At a little past noon, Riku flips the sign on his window from “open” to “closed.”

“Is that okay?” Ryuu asks.

Riku turns the lock on everything, too. “I’ve taken care of all the appointments already. The afternoon is for walk-in patients, so there’s no problem if I close a little early.”

“I’m sorry we’ve caused you so much trouble, Riku.” Tenn shoots a pointed look at his two companions before turning back to his brother again. “We’ll leave today.”

“Today?” Riku parrots, looking startled. “But you’re not well enough to travel yet.”

“I won’t stay and put you at risk. Don’t worry, we’ll take the evening train.”

“That’s exactly why I’m worried!” Riku protests. “Tenn-nii, you can’t even walk by yourself right now. Just moving around might be enough to reopen your wounds. What if you get attacked on your way back?”

Tenn jabs a finger at Gaku and Ryuu. “I’ve got these two.”

“Yeah, because _these two_ did such a good job at protecting you yesterday!”

Both Gaku and Ryuu wince. Riku does, too, like he didn’t mean to say that out loud.

“Anyways,” he continues, in a more even voice. “There’s no way you’re in any condition to leave right now. At least stay until you recover.”

Tenn shakes his head. “I won’t put you in any more danger.”

“Tenn-nii, you know that’s not–”

“This conversation is over, Riku.”

Riku opens his mouth with a look of frustration, but closes it without saying anything. This has been a recurring argument ever since Tenn left with Gaku, all those years ago. TRIGGER’s primary base of operations is not in this city, and missions rarely take them here. The twins would be lucky to see each other more than a couple times a year, now.

It was too difficult for Tenn to walk to the dining room, so the four of them squeezed into Riku’s tiny bedroom for lunch. Ryuu had cooked a delicious meal out of the sparse rations available, but there’s no denying the awkward atmosphere that hung over the room like a poisonous cloud. Riku all but inhales his food, and spends the rest of his time glaring down at the carpet like it had done him a personal insult.

There are red stains on it that probably won’t be coming out anytime soon.

“I’ll pay for you to get your carpet cleaned later, Nanase,” Gaku breaks the silence. It's a sorry apology after everything that had happened, but the least he can offer. “There’s blood on the couch, too. I’ll buy you a new one.”

“How kind of you, Yaotome-san,” Riku gives him an intent stare. Then, unexpectedly, his expression breaks into a smile. “In return, should I take a look at your wounds? You didn’t have the chance to patch them up yet, right?”

“Oh, no, it’s okay,” Gaku fumbles. To be honest, he’d almost gotten used to the sting and ache – it all just seemed so inconsequential next to all of their other problems. “Ryuu helped me with basic disinfectants, and I’m not as badly hurt anyways.”

“But you should still dress them properly! Here, let me.”

Springing to his feet, Riku begins to rifle through his drawers for medical equipment. Gaku takes off his shirt after some insistence, for a moment, he almost wonders if he’d imagined Riku’s murderous rage last night. The younger twin had been nothing but civil to him this morning. Really friendly, even.

Then Riku circles behind him and presses the antiseptic-soaked cotton swab to the wound on his back. _Hard_.

“ _Ow!_ ” Gaku would consider himself to have a fairly high pain tolerance, but the sting and pressure almost makes him leap out of his seat. “What the–”

The swab presses down harder. “Did that hurt, Yaotome-san?” Riku asks innocently.

So that’s how it is. Last night was 100% real, after all.

“It’s fine,” Gaku says through gritted teeth. “A bit heavy-handed, though.”

“Really? I thought I was being gentle.”

“Don’t complain, Gaku,” Tenn chastises from the side. “These cuts are going to hurt, no matter how good of a doctor Riku is.”

_A good doctor?_ Gaku bites down on his lip to stifle another undignified yelp. _Then where’s the professionalism here?!_

But it’s not like he doesn’t understand why Riku hates him. After last night, Gaku’s had a lot of time to consider everything that was said – and if their positions were reversed, he’d probably hate the person who stole Tenn away, too.

“I’ve been thinking,” he starts.

Tenn gives him a look that says _go on_ , but it takes Gaku a couple more moments just to gather the words and mentally prepare himself. “I was thinking,” he says again, taking a deep breath. “Maybe you should stay here for a while, Tenn.”

Riku’s movements pause. At the same time, both Ryuu and Tenn’s head snaps in his direction. “What?”

“I want you to stay here until you recover,” Gaku repeats. “Ryuu and I will leave on the train tonight. But you should lay low at Nanase’s clinic until your wounds have healed.”

For a moment, Tenn looks so bewildered he doesn’t even know what to say. The surprise doesn’t last long, though, before it’s replaced by indignance. “The stitches are going to take weeks to come out!”

“That’s the point. You shouldn’t be moving around too much.”

“I’m not going to sit and wait for that long!” Tenn snaps. “At Riku’s clinic, no less. Didn’t we already establish that we won’t be using this place again?”

“I don’t mind, Tenn-nii–”

“You be quiet,” Tenn says, before turning back to Gaku. “Did you hit your head while I wasn’t looking? Because this is a _terrible_ idea, even by your standards.”

There’s the instinctive urge to take the bait and snap back, but Gaku pushes it down. “I did think this through, more than you might believe.” He forces himself to look up, meeting Tenn’s confused gaze. “The fact that they haven’t come after us yet means that they’re not aware of your connection to Riku, and we already know their operations in this area are only temporary – it’s almost certain that their agents will be leaving within the next few days. When Ryuu and I take the train back, we’ll leave a trail. They’ll be too busy tracking us to waste any more time here.”

“So they’ll never notice that Tenn stayed behind,” Ryuu summarizes with a small frown. “We can pull that off, certainly, but…”

“But nothing. Tenn can spend a few weeks with Nanase, and they’ll both be safe.”

“There’s no reason for me to stay, though?”

“It’ll give you time to recover. You’ll be bedridden for a while, either way.”

“I can rest at headquarters!”

“Then why not do it here?” Gaku shoots back. He doesn’t want to part ways either, but the truth is that Tenn will be better off here; if he goes back, he’ll go stir-crazy within the week and start involving himself in work again, deadly wounds be damned. “Traveling will aggravate your wounds,” he says. “Is it really so bad to take a break?”

Tenn gives him an incredulous look. “There’s no time for breaks, Gaku. We have to go back and give our reports!”

“Then I’ll cover your part.”

“We need to start compiling information and thinking about our next steps!”

“I’ll update you over the phone.”

“Look here,” Tenn’s expression twists into a scowl. “Why are you so intent on–”

“ _I_ want you to stay, Tenn-nii!”

At Riku’s outburst, everyone stops to look at him. Even Tenn pauses in his furious tirade.

“I really want Tenn-nii to stay,” Riku says again, his mouth pressed into a thin, determined line. “Yaotome-san’s right this time. With injuries like that, you need to rest! If you’re going to be bedridden anyways, why do you insist on doing it back at the capital?”

“I...It’s just…”

When Tenn falters, Riku immediately seizes the opportunity to speak again. “Do you not want to spend time with me?”

“No!” Tenn recoils. “It’s not like that.”

“Then why? It won’t hurt for you to stay for a little longer, right?” Riku gazes at him with wide, beseeching eyes. “At least until I can remove your stitches. It’s been so long since you came to visit. Ever since you followed Yaotome-san into that job, I’ve hardly gotten to talk to you.”

There’s a flash of guilt on Tenn’s face. “Riku…”

“Let me steal you away for a bit,” Riku says. When he turns to look at Gaku, his eyes are a little softer. “That’s okay, isn’t it? Yaotome-san.”

This is the right thing to do. It’s the _least_ he can do.

“Yeah. Take care of him for me, Nanase.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks to the friends who enabled and encouraged me along the way, especially **[cotton_thistle](https://twitter.com/cotton_thistle)** who even drew a lovely pic for it **[here!](https://twitter.com/cotton_thistle/status/1239330548595613696)** Please check it out!!
> 
> For those who are also following me on twitter, nothing about this fic (and its inevitable ending) should come as a surprise. To be completely honest, I only wrote this because I wanted to see two specific things:  
> -Gaku being tied up  
> -[Redacted for an upcoming spoiler in chapter 3]
> 
> ...Then the rest the fic spiraled out of control like everything else I write. However, I am happy to say that I've actually finished writing the whole story! It's still going up in chapters because it got way longer than it was supposed to, but this fic will update weekly and without delays. Please leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed it! As always, I'm on twitter **[@redigitizing](https://twitter.com/redigitizing)** <3


	2. Chapter 2

“–Hey, are you listening to me?”

“Huh?” Gaku jumps, pressing the receiver closer to his ear. “Oh, yeah! Of course.”

“Then what was I saying about the firearm imports?”

The map on his desk is almost completely covered with messily-scrawled notes. Gaku squints down at it. “That...they’re are mostly coming from Sector B?”

“Correct, but I was actually talking about the informant network.” On the other end, Tenn lets out a sigh. “Why are you so distracted, Gaku?”

_Because you’re not here._

“Well, no matter,” he continues. “We’ll talk in person tomorrow. Buy me a ticket back, will you?”

Gaku blinks. “You’re coming back already?”

“What do you mean _already_?” Tenn complains, offended. “You don’t want to see me?”

“That’s not what I meant!” 

It’s not like Gaku doesn’t want to see Tenn – far from it. In fact, this is the longest they’ve spent apart from one another since Tenn came to work with him, and the empty silence makes his apartment feel terribly lonely. Even sleep doesn’t give him the peace of mind he needs; Gaku keeps waking up in the middle of the night to reach for the small figure by his side, only to grasp at a handful of crumpled blankets. 

They’re _so close_ to driving the government soldiers out, but desperation has made both sides ruthless, and their line of work is more dangerous than ever. 

“I do want to see you,” Gaku says. “But it’s no good if you overexert yourself.”

“Please, I’ve been at Riku’s for more than two weeks now.” He can practically hear Tenn rolling his eyes over the phone. “Riku took out my stitches yesterday.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re fully healed, though.”

“Yaotome-san’s right!” It’s somewhat muffled, but Gaku can hear Riku’s voice. He must be right next to Tenn. “If you don’t take it easy for a while, you might reopen your wounds.”

Tenn sighs. “Riku…”

“You know I’m right, Tenn-nii!”

“Don’t be a hypocrite, Tenn,” Gaku adds. “If you were treating another patient, wouldn’t you advise them to take more time to rest? Hell, you say that to _me_ often enough.”

He doesn’t immediately get a response. Tenn must be scowling now. 

But in the end, he does concede. “Choosing to gang up on me, I see...you two have been as thick as thieves lately. Have you had some sort of bonding session without me?”

“We...really haven’t.”

“Either way, I suppose it’s good that you get along so well.” Tenn huffs. “If it’s what the both of you want, then I’ll stay another week.”

Gaku heaves a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me for doing nothing while you guys are fighting. Stay safe.”

“I will.” Gaku hesitates. “I love you, Tenn.”

There’s a pause. “I know.”

“...I missed you,” he swallows the lump in his throat. “I really, really missed you.”

“Don’t get all sappy on me now, you dummy.” Despite his words, Tenn’s voice is soft and unmistakably fond. “I’ll see you soon.”

* * *

Reunion comes a week and a half later, when Gaku returns to see the lights on at his window at the military barracks.

Did he forget to close them before leaving for work? But...no, that wouldn’t be right. It had been a bright, sunny morning. He didn’t need to turn those lights on at all.

He’s prepared for the worst when he turns his key and pushes the door open, but all that greets him is the scent of _dashi_ broth. 

“Welcome home.”

That’s Tenn’s voice. Gaku almost has to rub his eyes to make sure he’s not imagining the sight of Tenn standing in his kitchen, stirring soba with a pair of chopsticks.

“What are you doing here?” he asks dumbly. 

Tenn turns around, brows raised. “I go through the trouble of making your favourite food, and that’s the first thing you say to me? What a thankless man.”

“I...it’s just…” Gaku shakes his head. “You didn’t tell me you were coming back.”

“I didn’t tell you because I figured you’d try to stop me,” Tenn says matter-of-factly, and turns off the heat. “Now make yourself useful and grab some bowls. You’re the one who always complains about soggy noodles.”

The noodles aren’t soggy at all. It’s the best damn thing he’s ever tasted – but maybe that has less to do with the soba, and more to do with the person sitting across from him. His apartment had never felt so warm.

“Are you sure you’re feeling well enough?” he still can’t help asking.

Tenn sets down his bowl, shooting him a look of exasperation and waning patience. “Obviously. I already took more time off than I needed.”

“And Nanase was okay with you leaving?”

“He wasn’t happy,” Tenn says. “But he let me go. Does it make you feel better to know that my brother’s given me a clean bill of health?”

“...Yeah, it does.”

“I suppose you two have really gotten close while I wasn’t looking,” Tenn tilts his head. If he catches the half-heartedness of Gaku’s reply, he doesn’t acknowledge it. “Get me up to speed on everything, and I’ll rejoin operations tomorrow.”

That night, they go to bed together and Tenn crawls into his lap, pulling at his clothes and pressing insistent kisses against his neck. Gaku’s all too happy to oblige him – and when it’s over, Tenn curls up comfortably in his arms, close enough for him to feel each warm puff of breath against his collarbone. 

Gaku wishes he could say he got a better night’s sleep, but the truth is that his dreams of empty, lonely rooms had simply been replaced by the echoes of Tenn’s screaming, and the horrific sight of blood on the ground.

Ryuu’s face lights up upon seeing them walking in with each other the next day, and he sweeps forward with a bear hug that lifts Tenn clean off the floor. It’s routine, after that, as Tenn digs through their maps and documents and begins to make suggestions. With an extra hand at play, their operational process speeds up. Tenn quickly slots back into their little trio as if he’s never left in the first place. 

It might have been fine to continue like this, but Gaku can’t shake his feelings of unease. A few days later, when they’re making plans to travel a few towns over to meet the local informants, he asks for Tenn to stay behind.

“I don’t want to leave communications here unattended,” he explains. “We’re expecting news from the group up north any day now.” 

Tenn pauses in the middle of checking his bag. “Why don’t you just assign someone else to keep watch?”

“We might have to act quickly when the time comes, so it’s best if one of us stays behind.” That’s not a complete lie, at least. Gaku runs a nervous hand through his hair. “It’ll be an easy meeting with other agents, so just Ryuu and I will be fine.”

There’s a significant pause as Tenn squints at him, but he eventually nods. “Fine. Just don’t get yourselves in trouble without me.”

“We won’t.”

“Remember the place I’ve marked on the map.”

“You don’t have to nag!”

When they’re out of the building, Ryuu gives him a sympathetic look. “I know you’re worried about him, Gaku,” he says. “I am, too. But you can’t keep Tenn out of it forever.”

“Not forever,” Gaku says tightly. “Just until we’re finished with this area. It won’t be long now.”

He manages to pull a similar trick two more times before Tenn starts to visibly run out of patience, snapping at his excuses and demanding to know why he can’t accompany them. And Gaku _wants_ to tell him, he really does – but he also knows that Tenn won’t take his worries as an acceptable reason to stay back, so they end up fighting over it again and again. It gets to the point where Tenn’s starting to give him the silent treatment at everything not work-related, until one night Gaku finds himself kicked out of his own bed, lying on the couch and staring blankly at the ceiling.

Ryuu’s right. This isn’t working.

Maybe the key is to find something Tenn _likes_ to do; something that doesn’t expose him to front-line danger but still makes good use of his talents. When Tenn drags himself out of bed that morning, bleary-eyed and nursing a cup of tea, Gaku takes a seat next to him.

“The team from the northern expedition are back.”

Tenn gives a noncommittal grunt, stubbornly looking away.

“I heard that things have been pretty difficult, and most of them are recovering now. We should check on their status.”

Of course, that suggestion is made with ulterior motives. But neither of them are prepared for the chaos and cacophony of shouting in the overcrowded and understaffed medical barracks, and Tenn’s eyes go wide as he takes in the devastating sight.

“You never told me it was _this_ bad.”

“This is my first time seeing them, too.”

“There’s not enough medics here. Not even close,” Tenn’s lips press into a thin, determined line. He deposits his bag in Gaku’s arms, and begins to roll up his sleeves. “You and Ryuu will have to do without me today. I’m going to go help.”

He hurries off without even waiting for a reply. 

Tenn’s still there when Gaku returns late in the evening, work by the light of a dim, flickering lamp. For a few minutes, Gaku just stops to watch as Tenn secures a patient’s bandages with quick, practiced movements, speaking softly so as to comfort the injured man. 

Eventually, Tenn notices his presence and gets up to meet him. The two of them step outside, into the cool evening breeze. 

“How are they?”

“Most will be fine, given time.” Tenn leans back to rest against the wall. He looks exhausted, with flyaway strands of hair slick with sweat and sticking up at odd angles. “I just wish we had more supplies. And maybe double the nurses.”

“More will be transferring in from the other posts, I think.” Gaku smoothes down his hair for him, tucking it behind his ear. “Have you had dinner?”

Tenn blinks, as if the thought hadn’t even occurred to him. Slowly, he shakes his head.

“Let’s go home, and I’ll make something for you.”

“I can’t leave yet,” Tenn says. He looks back at the rows of beds with a troubled expression. “We’re nowhere near done. The night rotations…”

Luckily, one of the passing nurses sees them, and waves Tenn off. “Nanase-san, please go and rest!” she says earnestly. “You’ve been a big help today.”

“I don’t want to leave you with all the work.”

“It’s fine! We were all able to take more breaks with you here – and you didn’t even give yourself time to eat lunch, did you?”

It takes quite a bit of persuasion, but Tenn eventually allows himself to be led back to Gaku’s apartment. He drops into the chair almost immediately after stepping over the threshold, which betrays just how tired he must really be. After a quick meal, Tenn stumbles into bed and crawls under the blankets with a sigh.

“I think I’ll go back to the infirmary tomorrow,” he murmurs. “They're really short on personnel, and every bit counts. The other things can wait.”

“That’s fine.” _Better_ than fine. Nothing is safer than their base camp. This is exactly what Gaku had hoped for, and he didn’t even have to make the suggestion – just as he thought, Tenn would make that decision by himself after seeing the state of the medical wards. “You have the training, and not many others are qualified to help.”

“Right? I’ve been mostly applying first aid to you and Ryuu up until now, but I know how to treat plenty of other injuries.” Tenn yawns. “Or infections, or whatever. I know that you think really highly of Riku’s skills, but I’m just as good as him.”

Gaku makes a face. Somehow, his united front with Riku in overprotective behaviour seems to have given Tenn a massive misunderstanding about their relationship in general. “It’s not that I especially admire Nanase’s skills.” 

“Why not? You should.”

“Are you praising Nanase, or trying to prove you’re better?”

“Both.” Tenn yawns again, reaching up to tug on the edge of Gaku’s shirt. “Now come to bed already. I don’t want to get woken up later by all your moving around.”

That’s what he says, but Tenn sleeps like a rock that night and barely even stirs to the sound of the alarm the next morning. It’s Gaku who finally reaches out from under the wonderful warmth of the blanket into the cold, crisp air to switch it off.

“Why’d you set it so early?” he complains. “It’s still dark outside!”

“...Will be dawn soon,” Tenn mumbles, burrowing a little deeper into his side and letting out a long-suffering sigh before sitting up. “I wanted to get to the infirmary early.”

“This is _too_ early.”

“Say that to the night shift nurses.”

Gaku groans when Tenn lifts the blanket to climb over him and off the bed. After a few seconds of debating, he drags himself up as well. “Let me walk you there.”

“No need,” Tenn rolls his eyes, already half-dressed. “I’m not going to get lost, Gaku. Go back to sleep.”

In the end, the temptation is too much and Gaku sinks back into his pillow. He goes to meet Ryuu a few hours later at their normal time, and both of them take a break at lunch to bring something for Tenn. The infirmary seems a little better today as opposed to the day before, though it’s still bustling with activity and full of people calling for assistance. 

Tenn’s a little further in, at the center of it all. In many ways, Gaku would consider this environment a lot more stressful than even their high-risk operations – yet Tenn looks completely in his element here, bent over a patient on a stretcher and giving instructions to the nurses assisting him. It takes another half an hour before he’s finished and one of the nurses taps on his shoulder, pointing to Gaku and Ryuu. She whispers something into his ear, giggling, and Tenn’s face flushes pink before he quickly makes his way over. 

“What are you two doing here?” 

“Bringing you lunch, of course.” Ryuu smiles gently as he holds up a box, wrapped neatly in cloth. “Gaku told me you didn’t have the chance to eat much yesterday.”

Tenn shoots Gaku a dirty look, and Gaku simply shakes his head back in return. “Someone has to look after you.”

“Unnecessary, but I’ll take it,” Tenn says as he accepts the bento. “Did you make this, Ryuu?”

“Yup! It’s your favourite.”

“Omurice?” Tenn tries not to look too excited, but his eyes had gotten a lot brighter. “Ryuu, your cooking is the best.”

“Aww, thanks!”

“Hey, what about mine?”

“ _You_ get a C+ for the lack of variety.”

* * *

After the first week, things mellow out and the stream of patients reduce to a more manageable pace. Still, Tenn makes no mention of wanting to quit as a medic, and Gaku doesn’t bring up the subject either.

There’s no denying that he misses having the three of them work together – even though TRIGGER had started out with just him and Ryuu, Tenn had become such an integral part that it simply doesn’t feel right without him anymore. Whenever he struggles to apply first aid for Ryuu on the field, Gaku would be reminded of Tenn’s absence. The two of them would often catch themselves looking to Tenn for an opinion, only to find his seat empty. 

But these are inconveniences that he’s willing to deal with. Not only is it safer at base camp, it’s also clear to see that _this_ is the kind of work that made Tenn happy. Sometimes, when Gaku came to pick him up in the evening, he would see Tenn smiling as he chatted with the patients and nurses. At home, he would often speak of the soldiers he looked after and how they were starting to recover. 

Tenn liked to help people and with his background as a clinical doctor, there’s no wonder why he would prefer work that saved people’s lives as opposed to potentially ending them on frontline missions. As far as Gaku’s concerned, it would be fine if Tenn spends the rest of his time working in the infirmary. 

Of course, things are never that easy. Just a few days past the one-month mark, Gaku and Ryuu are sent traveling to the next province over to check out an anonymous tip – except the reported incidents are nowhere to be found, and the rest of the mission goes south very quickly. The last part is honestly kind of a blur and when Gaku comes to, he finds himself lying in the infirmary and staring up at the ceiling. There’s an IV stuck in his right arm.

A quick glance shows that Ryuu is sleeping on a cot to his left, looking worse for wear but breathing steadily. _Oh, good._

“You’re awake.”

That’s Tenn’s voice. _Not good._

“Hey, Tenn,” Gaku croaks out. It feels as though there’s a hoard of frogs stuck in his throat. “How long have I been out?”

“Factoring in travel time, almost a whole day.” Tenn crosses his arms, looking down at him from the bedside. His voice is calm enough, but his jaw is clenched and there’s a line of tension running through his shoulders. “What happened? I thought you said the trip was for intel.”

“It was.”

“Which completely explains why you came back looking like you were run over by a train.”

“Look, some unexpected stuff came up, okay?” Gaku groans. He has no desire to go into detail about his own mistakes. “The tip was fake and we weren’t familiar with the area, so we walked into a set-up. Accidents happen.”

“Accidents on this scale isn’t something you can just brush off,” Tenn says sharply. “If I had known, I would’ve gone with you.”

Gaku goes very still. “It’s no big deal.”

“Now’s not the time to play tough, Gaku,” Tenn’s hand drifts up, tugging restlessly at pale locks of hair. “If you had a third person, there would’ve been time to scout the area more carefully. I should’ve gone back to our normal operations a week – no, two weeks ago.”

“Tenn, you don’t have to do that.”

“I’m supposed to look after the two of you!” Tenn’s voice sharpens before he quickly lowers it again, casting a furtive glance at the other cots around them. He takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I was only going to help out until the rush of patients slowed down, but it was so easy to slip back into the routine of medical work. I...can’t believe I got so distracted.”

There’s a knot in Gaku’s stomach, coiling tighter and tighter, and Tenn’s obvious distress just made him feel worse. “Today was just an accident, and it won’t happen again,” he urges, a little desperately. “The patients here need you, too.”

But it seems that Tenn had already made up his mind. “The nurses will be able to handle it from here,” he says firmly. “I’ll return to working with TRIGGER. It’s where I belong.”

He gives Gaku an expectant look, as if wanting Gaku to be pleased with that announcement. Gaku stares back at him. He feels a little sick.

Because of course Tenn would get worried upon seeing them like this, of course he would feel guilty for not being able to help, and _of course_ he would demand to come along and protect them however he can. This arrangement had been working so well, but Gaku had messed it up by landing himself in the infirmary. 

Now, Tenn will be exposed to danger again.

He must’ve taken too long to answer, because Tenn frowns. “What’s with that look? I know I’m behind on a lot of the recent happenings, but I can get back to speed quickly. You know I can.”

“I know you can,” Gaku instantly parrots, because Tenn’s competency had never been in question here. “It’s not that.”

“Then what’s the problem? Spit it out.”

They haven’t really talked about that incident since the morning after, at Riku’s clinic. For the most part, Tenn seems to have been able to put the traumatizing experience behind him – but Gaku honestly doesn’t know if he’s really alright or just putting on a brave front, because he’d had to leave town soon after left Tenn to do the bulk of his recovery with Riku. It’s a difficult subject to breach, either way.

But he’d already danced around the issue enough. When in doubt, isn’t honesty the best option? Gaku braces himself. “I thought it would be safer for you to stay here.”

Tenn’s silent for a moment. “You don’t want me to continue with TRIGGER?” 

“Not in our field operations.”

There’s another pause. Tenn’s starting to look more upset now, and a little hurt. “This again. You’ve been like this ever since I came back– no,” he cuts himself off, shaking his head. “Ever since I was injured that night. It’s why you insisted I stay at Riku’s too, isn’t it?”

Gaku grimaces. “Tenn, listen–”

“No, Yaotome Gaku, _you_ listen.” Whirling around, Tenn pulls the thin plastic curtain around them shut for some semblance of privacy before hissing out the rest of his words in a furious whisper. “You’ve been trying to coddle me for months, and I’m sick of it. What part of ‘I’ve recovered’ do you not understand?”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt!”

“That’s my line!” Tenn snaps. “You don’t get to talk about not getting hurt when _you’re_ the one lying in the hospital. Both you and Ryuu…”

He trails off, closing his eyes. 

“We used to work as a team,” Tenn says, much more quietly. His shoulders slump, anger giving way to weariness as he circles around Gaku’s bed and kneels down next to Ryuu, gently brushing his hand against the bruise on his cheek. “I don’t know if I would’ve made a difference, but I wish I’d been there.”

 _But if you went,_ Gaku thinks desperately. _The same might’ve happened to you_.

“We’ll be fine," is what he says, in the end. The empty promise tastes bitter on his tongue, but memories of Riku’s accusing words ring louder still. “You _like_ the work here, Tenn. I took you away from your clinic with Nanase, but you don’t have to give this up.”

“You didn’t take me anywhere,” Tenn corrects. His hand drifts up, clutching at the red pendant Riku had given him, but there is no uncertainty in his eyes. “Get your head out of your ass, Gaku. I made the decision to leave by myself, and I'm fighting for our freedom as much as you are – so that Riku, too, can have a better life when this is all over. And although it’s true that I like my work as a doctor, I like having the two of you alive even more.” 

His mouth sets into a thin, determined line.

“I’ll be coming next time, whether you like it or not.”

* * *

“So, about the rendezvous point...”

Ryuu’s feeble effort at encouraging conversation is met with stony silence as TRIGGER proceeds through the dimly-lit tunnel. Gaku and Tenn are walking in front of him, stubbornly refusing to look at each other. All is silent save for the _click-click-clicks_ of their boots on the cobbled stone floor and the slow, steady drip of water from the ceiling.

It’s been like this ever since they left headquarters. Ryuu would normally consider himself a very patient person, but he’s at the end of his wits here.

“Gaku?” he tries again. “Tenn?”

“We’ve gone over it already, haven’t we?” Gaku says, a little testily. Although Ryuu knows that the impatience isn’t aimed at him, it still makes him wince. “Once we’re there, you and Tenn will scope out the surroundings and stay back while I–”

“Going alone would be the worst possible plan,” Tenn interrupts, equally irritated. “I’ve already told you why at least a dozen times.”

“I’m in charge of this mission. If you want to come so badly, then listen to me!”

“Why would I listen to a plan destined for disaster?! I’m vetoing your idea!”

“I’m vetoing your veto!”

“ _Guys!_ ” Ryuu finally shoves himself bodily between his two bristling teammates before they can really go for each other’s throats. “I didn’t ask just so you two can start fighting again. Seriously, this is too much!”

“Tenn’s the one who won’t–”

“It’s all Gaku’s fault, so–”

“Stop it, both of you!” Ryuu rarely raises his voice, and perhaps that’s why both Gaku and Tenn go silent so quickly. “Seriously, I can’t take this anymore,” he groans, sinking his head into his hands. “Are you really going to argue the whole way there?”

“If Gaku can stop being such a bullheaded idiot, this would be resolved already,” Tenn snaps. “Tell him, Ryuu. You think it’s a terrible idea, too.”

Ryuu opens his mouth, but Gaku’s cuts in first. “Don’t pressure him.”

“You’re just afraid Ryuu won’t back you up,” Tenn sneers. 

“That’s not it!” Except that’s exactly it. Gaku lets out a growl of frustration. Wanting to protect your loved ones shouldn’t be a difficult sentiment, and yet here they are, having a fight over it. “Why do you have to be so difficult? I’m doing this for you!”

Tenn’s expression darkens, and that’s all the warning Gaku gets before he suddenly finds himself slammed off-balance. 

Stunned, he struggles to keep a composed expression as Tenn shoves him up against the wall. “I didn’t want this! I didn’t ask to be left behind!” It’s rare for Tenn to truly lose his temper and rarer still for him to get physical about it, but right now his eyes are blazing, teeth bared in a furious snarl as he knots his hands into the front of Gaku’s coat. “How dare you hide behind the excuse that this is for _me!_ ”

“I– It’s not–”

“If you go alone, you won’t come out of it alive! You know that, too!” Tenn shakes him, each anguished shout echoing shrilly around the tunnel. “I’m not a burden, Gaku! Why, _why_ won’t you let me go with you?”

_A burden?_

Is that what Tenn thought?

He’s glad when Ryuu finally gets between them, forcefully pushing them apart and holding Tenn back before he can claw at him again. Gaku steps away and takes a few seconds to compose himself, not daring to look back just yet. He can hear Tenn struggling in the background, and Ryuu frantically trying to calm him down.

“Come on, Tenn, you have to stop shouting – if we’re not quiet, we’ll get found out!”

“It won’t matter if he gets himself killed later! Ryuu, we can’t let him!”

“I know,” Ryuu soothes. “I know, Tenn. I won’t allow him to do this alone, either. Gaku,” he raises his voice, speaking gently but firmly. “You hear that? I can understand where you’re coming from, but this isn’t right.”

“...I hear you.”

When Gaku finally gathers the courage to look back at his teammates, Tenn’s shoulders are slumped, his gaze cast downwards. 

“See, Tenn, he came around,” Ryuu pats his back, coaxing. “At the end of the day, I think the two of you are worried about the same thing.”

Tenn huffs under his breath and turns away. Ryuu sighs and pats him again, as if trying to pacify a child. “Don’t be mad at him for worrying about you, okay?” He glances Gaku, giving him a look of intent. “Gaku, you apologize too–”

It's at that moment when Ryuu cuts himself off mid-word, his eyes widening in horror at something just beyond Gaku’s shoulder. He fumbles for the holster at his hip, but the motion alerts Tenn too, and he’s faster. Head snapping up, Tenn raises his pistol in a practiced, fluid motion, light glancing off the metallic barrel as it fires.

There’s no time to protest, and no time to think. Only when Gaku feels the sting of pain does he realize that the bullet must have grazed his cheek. Behind him, there’s a choked gurgle, and he spins around just in time to see a government soldier collapse to the ground with a hole in his forehead.

Tenn lowers his gun. “I’m not a burden,” he repeats. 

Gaku’s expression crumples. “I never thought of you that way.” 

But Tenn doesn’t respond, and his stony silence leaves Gaku fumbling for words. “I never thought you were a burden,” he pleads, more desperately this time. “I just wanted to protect you. Really, Tenn, I...the night after we were both captured, when I took you to Nanase’s clinic...” Even now, it’s difficult to talk about it. The mere memory of it is enough for him to feel sick, stomach churning with a mixture of guilt and cold, gripping fear. “I didn’t know if you’d make it. I thought I’d caused your death.”

There’s a long, drawn-out pause. 

“I’m alive,” Tenn finally says. “And even if I had died, it would not be your fault.”

“How is it not?!” He’d stolen Tenn away his civilian life – if nothing else, Riku had made sure to hammer that point home. This was _all_ on him. “I was afraid. Can you blame me, Tenn? If there’s anything I can do to keep you out of such danger, then–!”

His breath catches in his throat as Tenn takes two steps forward and clasps Gaku’s cold, shaking hands between his own. 

“I didn’t know I scared you so badly that night,” his voice had softened. “I thought it would’ve been better if I could pretend it didn’t happen. Maybe we should have talked about it.”

Gaku opens his mouth, then soundlessly closes it again. Tenn sighs, shifting his hand to rub small, soothing circles against the center of his palm. 

“I’m alive, Gaku,” he repeats. “And I’ll remind you as many times as you need. But can’t you see that I’m worried, too? How do you think I felt when you and Ryuu were dragged into the infirmary last time?”

“I…”

“Do you know what my first thought was?”

Mutely, Gaku shakes his head.

“I thought,” Tenn continues, and this time his voice trembles, too. “That if the two of you died, then it would be my fault because I wasn’t there to watch your back. I was so scared that my hands weren’t steady enough to perform the surgery. Another doctor had to take over.”

Gaku scrunches his eyes shut. “I’m sorry,” he croaks out.

“Ryuu was right. We were fighting over the same thing after all,” Tenn lets out a small, wry laugh without any real humour. “But understand that you’re not the only one who’s worried, Gaku, so get a hold of yourself! I’m not going to wave goodbye to you at the door when I _know_ you might never come back.”

“...There’s nothing that can change your mind, is there?”

“Nothing,” Tenn says. He squeezes Gaku’s much larger hands between his own and takes another step closer, leaning up on his tip-toes until he could gently press their lips together. “Wherever you go, I will be right behind you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, a weekly update! You can consider this a bit of a "breather" chapter, in preparation for...well, what's about to go down in chapter 3. Chapter 4 is just an epilogue, so next chapter is where things will Happen. o w <
> 
> As always, please leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed it! That's what motivates me to keep writing, after all. I'm also on twitter **[@redigitizing](https://twitter.com/redigitizing)** <3


	3. Chapter 3

With Tenn by their side, things progress much more smoothly.

Not that it’s a surprising revelation. After all, they’re a _team_ for a reason – TRIGGER had always depended equally on all three of them, and they’ve been off-balance in the last couple months when it was just him and Ryuu. Tenn’s return was the missing piece; a shift in gears, for them to finally return to the effectiveness they had before.

On one hand, Gaku is undeniably glad to have Tenn back. On the other hand, he feels like he’s losing eight years of his life every time they encounter yet another close call. The civil war had dragged on for far too long. At this point, he just wants it to be over.

And if this works out, he won’t have to wait much longer.

“All groups, confirm status!”

His radio buzzes just as another explosion rocks the ancient building, and Gaku hastily ducks out of the way of a crumbling pillar. “This is TRIGGER,” he calls over the hissing static. “We’re in the east wing, making our way to the north exit.”

“MEZZO is heading north as well,” comes Sougo’s response.

“Pythagoras is here and accounted for!” Mitsuki, on the other hand, can barely be heard over the sound of gunfire in the background. “We’re close to the central hall, but– ah, shit– there’s a lot of government soldiers. We’re pretty much pinned down.”

“Do you need help?”

“Not yet,” Yamato’s voice, this time. “Any updates on our target’s whereabouts?”

“We’re still tracking him.” Gaku can hear his own father’s voice over the earpiece, giving orders from central command. “Re:vale, what's your status?"

Silence. Gaku exchanges an alarmed look with Tenn and Ryuu.

“Re:vale?” Yaotome Sosuke tries again. He waits two, three seconds, then stoically continues as if he’d never called for them in the first place. "Pythagoras, maintain position. All others, head north."

“Yessir!” 

The ache of fatigue weighs down heavily on him, but Gaku ignores it as he takes point, and gestures for Tenn and Ryuu to follow. This city is the last government stronghold – it's not the capital, long abandoned by the ruling tyrant who no longer had the support of the people, but a shabby southern city with several ships ready at the port. Supposedly, there was one last highly-ranked government official still holed up in the city, trying to gather some crucial documents before he flees. Less than an hour ago, their own forces had dispatched seven assault teams to storm the massive building and capture the government official.

They’re down to three now. He knows one group had gotten caught in an explosive trap early on. They’d all heard team two’s futile struggle over the radio, and team three had been unresponsive for so long that there’s no choice but to write them off, too. 

And then there's Re:vale, who’d also gone radio silent.

“Let's hurry.” Tenn whispers behind him. “Momo-san and Yuki-san should've gone this way."

Ryuu comes last, bringing up the rear. “We might find them as we go."

"...Yeah, maybe."

In reality, they all know that it will be more pragmatic to assume the opposite. With impending dread, Gaku does another mental rundown of the situation. 

Of the three teams that remain, Pythagoras is stuck at the main doors. They won’t be able to leave their positions on the off chance that their target decides to circle back to the front. MEZZO seems to be fine (and of course they would be, with Osaka there) but there’s only two of them, and Gaku had been hoping to have a little more manpower as they move to close in with their target. It’s been estimated that government troops still stationed here had outnumbered them two to one at the _start_ of the infiltration, and their own numbers had dwindled significantly since then.

These aren’t good odds, but they’ve come too far to back down now. 

Continuing on, the three of them creep through the deserted corridors. Amidst the tense silence, it’s as if all other sounds had been amplified, and Gaku finds himself tensing up at every too-loud creak of the wooden floorboards or the scratch of branches outside the window. He’s gripping his pistol so tightly that it’s sure to leave marks on his palm later. 

However, they don’t encounter any government soldiers. “I guess there’s nothing useful left in the east wing,” Ryuu murmurs, after a while. “We can write this area off.”

“Not necessarily,” Tenn corrects. He’s biting down on his bottom lip, clearly nervous despite his efforts to hide it. “Our target might circle back to the east exit – we didn’t have time to do a thorough search, anyways.”

“But that’s a lot less likely.”

“True,” Tenn allows. “They should be heading for the north exit, like Gaku’s father assumed.”

“They better,” Gaku grumbles, stopping to look carefully around the corner before moving again. “If my old man's been sending us in the wrong direction, then we're all screwed."

“Let’s hope that’s not the case.”

The path on the first floor is a dead end, so they take the next flight of stairs up. Although they’d received floor plans as part of the mission prep, its use is limited; the building had undergone extensive renovations since the blueprints were gathered, meaning that their intel is several years outdated and full of new areas that didn’t match up to old maps. They’re forced to slow down to adapt to these differences, only make it a few steps onto the second floor before finding yet another change in layout.

“Which way?” Ryuu whispers as they pause at an T-shaped intersection of two paths, splitting off neatly to the left and right. 

Tenn hesitates. “We’re in the east wing, so we should naturally head...left?”

“The original floor plan had the corridor go right, though,” Gaku recalls. “It loops around one of the storage rooms.”

“Should we split up?” Ryuu asks.

“No,” Tenn rejects. “That’s too dangerous. Maybe we can check the left side first, then backtrack if it doesn’t–”

Out of the corner of his eye, Gaku sees a glint like light reflecting off of the windowpane in the hall behind them. Instinct kicks in and he’s moving before he can even think about what it means, throwing himself to the right and dragging Tenn along with him – and not a moment sooner as several shots pierce the air, gunfire spraying into the intersection where they had been standing just a moment before.

They hit the ground hard. Scrambling to his hands and knees, Tenn screams. “Ryuu!”

“I’m okay!” comes the strained reply. Ryuu must’ve gotten to the left side just in time. "It only grazed me. Damn, how did…?"

"They got behind us," Gaku's head spins. They had been so, _so_ careful, but no amount of caution could compare to the advantage of government soldiers being on their home turf. Now they’ve been split up, with Ryuu trapped on the left side of the hall while Gaku and Tenn were on the right. "Shit–!”

More bullets fly past the gap inbetween, followed by footsteps and shouting as the enemy soldiers give orders to move in. Ryuu grimaces, and gives them a shaky smile. "I guess I'll see you guys at the north entrance?"

They don’t have a choice at this point, but Gaku can’t help hesitating slightly. Sensing his reluctance, Ryuu shakes his head. “We can’t take them in a place like this,” he stands up, already moving. “I’ll be fine, go!”

“Come _on_ , Gaku!”

Grabbing his hand, Tenn drags him down the right corridor. Gaku slows just long enough to see Ryuu’s back disappear around the corner before running as well. The two of them sprint blindly down the halls, ducking under scattered bullets until Tenn spots a door ahead, opened up to a crack – barrelling inside, they throw themselves behind a towering shelf and hold their breaths as thundering footsteps approach outside.

Gaku’s prepared for the worst, but the enemy soldiers run right past their location. He waits until he can no longer hear them before letting out a shaky exhale. Beside him, Tenn also gives an audible sigh of relief. 

“Good thinking,” Gaku croaks out, once he’d caught his breath.

“Lucky, more like. I was gonna close the door behind us,” Tenn groans. “Didn’t have time. I thought they were gonna see it and come in here for sure.”

“The sound would’ve caught their attention, so it’s good that you didn’t.” Gaku drops his gun onto the floor, allowing himself a moment of respite as he wraps an arm around Tenn, pulling him close. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Tenn returns the embrace, burying his face into the crook of Gaku’s neck and slumping bonelessly against him. “I’m worried about Ryuu.”

“...Me too.”

“Check your radio. Can you contact him?”

“I can, but what about yours?”

Grimacing, Tenn removes the remnants of his earpiece to show Gaku the cracked, jagged pieces of plastic. “It’s broken. I must have fallen on it earlier.”

That’s inconvenient, but they should be fine as long as they stay together. Gaku nods and starts to dial in on TRIGGER’s internal frequency, but pauses as another burst of static signals an incoming message from central command instead.

“MEZZO, TRIGGER – what’s your status?”

“TRIGGER here. Tenn and I should be around the intersection between the east and north wing,” Gaku says immediately.

Beside him, Tenn perks up with a hopeful look.

Gaku shakes his head. _It’s my dad_ , he mouths. “The three of us got separated,” he starts to say into the radio, but doesn’t get any further before being interrupted by a familiar and much-welcomed voice.

“This is Ryuu, reporting in–!” Ryuu sounds a bit out of breath, but otherwise no worse for wear. “I’m not completely sure where I am, but I shouldn’t be too far from the north wing.”

“Ryuu!” Gaku can’t contain his relief. “You’re okay!”

“I think most of the soldiers went after you two, so I got off easy. What about you and Tenn?”

“We’re not hurt.”

“What’s he saying?” Tenn demands impatiently, pushing his head closer in a futile effort to listen in. “That was Ryuu, wasn’t it?”

“Geez, don’t squirm…!” Naturally, radio communications are designed to play only through his earpiece while remaining silent for anyone not wearing it – now that Tenn’s equipment is broken, he’s stuck listening to half of the conversation and the most Gaku can do is repeat everything back to him in a summary. He still grins widely as he delivers the good news. “It _is_ Ryuu. He got away safely, too.”

Tenn’s face brightens, too, but the happiness of the moment is somewhat dampened by the sound of Sosuke clearing his throat over the radio. “While it’s good that the three of you are all unharmed,” he starts. “You’ll have to hold your reunion later. We’ve confirmed the target’s location, and we need all available units to move in now.”

Instantly, Gaku’s smile fades. “Where should we go?”

“North wing, just as we anticipated. TRIGGER, you said you’re already nearby?”

“We should be close.”

“I can confirm that I’ve entered the north wing,” Ryuu speaks up. “Just passed by a map earlier. Gaku, keep taking the right turns with Tenn and you two should arrive soon.”

“Good,” Sosuke says. “What about you, MEZZO?”

There’s a pause before Sougo’s voice buzzes in. “We...might need more time.”

“They’ve boarded up the doors here and collapsed part of the upper floor,” Tamaki adds, complaining. “Sou-chan and I are looking for another way around right now.”

“I’m afraid we don’t have any time to lose.” Even over the radio, Sosuke sounds tense. “If we wait any longer, the target might escape. TRIGGER, you’re going to have to go first.”

Gaku stills. “Just the three of us? What about Pythagoras?”

“We’re heading there, too!” Mitsuki calls out. From the sound of it, he’s running. “But we’re coming from the main entrance in the south, so…”

“...We’ll be on our own for a while, huh.”

This is what he’d been afraid of. Gaku understands the necessity of the situation, he really does – but there are still too many government soldiers left in this building, and sending a single three-man team in now would be comparable to a suicide mission. Realistically, there’s no way his father would expect them to successfully take their target out.

No. TRIGGER is being used as a sacrifice to slow them down, to _buy time_ , while Sosuke gathers more forces to blockade the exit from the outside and have MEZZO and Pythagoras come in for a pincer attack. 

It’s a pragmatic strategy. Gaku doesn’t even blame his father for it, not really, but–

“Gaku?”

Tenn is still kneeling beside him, looking at him with wide, inquisitive eyes. He seems exhausted, with dirt all over his face and a long, thin cut running down the side of his cheek where the broken earpiece must’ve scratched him earlier. 

_I should never have gotten him involved._

“I understand,” Gaku says quietly, then ends the transmission.

“Gaku?” Tenn asks again. “What did your father say?”

“He...said they’d confirmed the location of our target.”

Although Tenn’s posture stiffens, there's no fear in his grim, determined gaze. “Where is he?”

At that moment, Gaku realizes that he has two choices.

He can relay his father’s orders and steer the two of them to their likely demise at the north wing, which would certainly be the _dutiful_ thing to do. But Tenn’s radio and earpiece had been broken, so he’s relying purely on Gaku for second-handed information.

And Gaku doesn’t have to tell the truth. 

(When it comes down to it, Gaku is too good of a soldier to abandon his duty completely – but there’s no reason why Tenn should have to die, too.

Even if Tenn will come to hate him for this.)

“Our target’s in the east wing, moving south,” he lies. “We’ll have to backtrack.”

“Not the north?” Tenn blinks, but accepts the information without any suspicion. “I guess that would have been too predictable. East, huh...we must be the closest ones.”

“Yeah. We’ll have to hurry and cut them off, then buy time for the others to arrive.” Gaku’s never been a particularly good liar, so he incorporates as much truth into the statement as he can. “You should get going.”

“ _We_ should get going, dummy.”

“You have to go first,” Gaku forces himself to say. “Remember those soldiers that ran past us earlier? I need to take them out, and make sure we don’t get shot in the back later.”

Concern clouds Tenn’s face. “Then let’s do that together.”

“There’s no time.”

“There were too many!” Tenn shakes his head, pleading. “You’ll never take them alone.”

“I won’t have to fight them all,” Gaku digs through his pockets for the small stick of explosives they’d all been given. “Ryuu told me that the main hallway is just ahead, and we’re on the second floor. I only need to collapse the floorboards, and that’ll be enough.”

“But–”

“ _Go_ , Tenn,” he says forcefully, raising his voice. “Before our target gets away.”

For a second, Gaku fears that he might have given himself away by being too pushy, but Tenn doesn’t question him. There’s a clear, open trust in his gaze as he stands back up.

“Fine, then,” he says. “You’ll follow me as soon as you’re done, right?”

Gaku tries to smile. “I’ll be right behind you.”

“Okay.” Tenn takes a deep breath, pistol in hand, and moves to step out into the hallway. “Then let’s finish this.”

One step. Two steps.

It occurs to him that he’s watching Tenn walk away for what is probably the very last time. Gaku’s heart clenches, twisting painfully until he’s certain that it’s tearing itself into pieces. Chances are that he won’t survive this mission. Tenn will arrive at the east exit and wait, only learning once it’s all over that he’d been sent in the opposite direction. 

He’ll never get to see Tenn again, to hug him and kiss him and _apologize_ for lying the very last time they’d spoken to each other. 

Perhaps that thought is what leads Gaku to catch Tenn by the arm and pull him back, crushing him to his chest in a tight embrace and muffling Tenn’s protest in a fervent, almost desperate kiss. 

“I love you,” Gaku whispers as they pull apart.

Tenn looks a little confused, but smiles back at him. “Save the sappiness for later.” Contrary to his words, he reaches out to brush a flyaway strand of hair behind Gaku’s ear in a gentle, purely affectionate gesture. “I’ll see you soon.”

“...Yeah.” Even to his own ears, his voice sounds a little strangled. Gaku turns quickly so Tenn wouldn’t see the growing wetness in his eyes. “See you soon.”

* * *

The two remaining members of TRIGGER reunite outside of a small storage room. Ryuu raises his hand in greeting, though his smile fades when he sees Gaku arrive alone.

“Tenn isn’t with you?”

Gaku shakes his head. “He’s not hurt,” he quickly adds, when Ryuu’s face twists in horror. “I sent him back to the east wing.”

“And Tenn _agreed?_ ”

“His radio was broken,” Gaku looks away. “I lied about the target’s location.”

Saying it out loud brings a new rush of shame. Aside from his betrayal of Tenn’s trust, it’s undeniable that his actions had also compromised the mission and inadvertently lowered both his _and_ Ryuu’s own chances of survival. Ducking his head, Gaku stays silent as he waits for Ryuu’s reaction. Ryuu should be mad at him. He’d deserve it.

There’s a significant pause. But in the end, all Ryuu does is reach out and pat him gently on the shoulder. “Tenn’s going to yell at you later.”

Somehow, the lack of condemnation or judgement makes him feel worse. “I’ll cross that bridge if I get there.”

“ _When_ you get there.”

“...Yeah. Maybe.”

The only bright side is that Ryuu had managed to swipe a building map while they were separated, and that proves to be an invaluable resource as they progress further into the north wing. The presence of government soldiers are obvious here – whereas TRIGGER had to tread carefully in the east wing but rarely actually ran into others, Gaku and Ryuu now find themselves having to constantly re-route in order to avoid or take out enemy patrols before being seen. As they hurry along, Gaku tries his radio again.

“This is TRIGGER. We’re well inside the north wing now – where is everyone else?”

“We’re circling in from the south,” Tamaki pipes up. “Sorry, Gakkun, but Sou-chan and I will take a while.”

“They blocked off the west completely,” Sougo adds, sounding rather distraught. “I’m so sorry, Yaotome-san!”

“It’s not your fault,” Gaku says, even as his heart sinks a little more. “What’s your status, Pythagoras?”

“Well, about that...”

Mitsuki clears his throat, speaking over Yamato’s drawl. “All three of us are fine, I think.”

“You _think?_ ”

"We are alright, Yaotome-shi!" Nagi’s voice, this time. "Unfortunately, it appears that the enemy’s attempts to separate TRIGGER earlier was not a one-off strategy.”

Ryuu gives a despairing moan. “Don’t tell me…”

“We got separated, too,” Mitsuki confirms, heaving a frustrated sigh. “Bastards got us from behind. We’re all heading your way, as far as I can tell, but I can’t say how soon we’ll arrive. I hurt my leg pretty badly, so I think I’ll be slower than the other two.”

“ _Oh_ , Mitsuki, how come you didn’t tell us you got hurt?”

“Because I didn’t want to worry you! I’m only saying it now to give Yaotome a better sense of our ETA.”

“And just what is our ETA?”

“Hell if I know! This stupid place is like a maze, and I’m starting to think they blocked off the south, too – we might have to circle around the east, and go the same way Trigger did.”

God knows how long _that_ would take. Tuning out Pythag’s chatter over the radio, Gaku forces himself to refocus. It’s clear that the enemy had made their preparations by blocking off most of the routes to the north, and Trigger was lucky to have found one as quickly as they did. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like any of the other teams can say the same.

At this rate, no one else will make it. But it’s not like he expected them to.

(After all, isn’t that why he sent Tenn away?)

They’ve run out of time, either way. Gaku can hear people talking just in front of them now, a quiet murmur of words accompanied by a chorus of steady footsteps. Peering around the corner just confirms what he already knows: there is a large group of soldiers in the hall right in front of them, and they can only be escorting one person.

 _Ready?_ Ryuu mouths.

Gaku smiles back grimly, opening his hand to show the flashbang grenade sitting at the center of his palm. _As ready as I’ll ever be_.

Inhaling sharply, he winds back his arm and throws it hard into the next corridor. The flashbang is more sound and light than actual explosive power, but the deafening sound that follows seems to shake the building to its core. A bright, blinding light spills across the hallway, followed by panicked shouts.

And that’s their cue.

* * *

Gaku’s ears ring as yet another bullet ricochets off the pillar just inches from his head, blasting a solid chunk out of the plaster. Cursing under his breath, he ducks back behind cover and fumbles to reload his pistol without aggravating the wound in his shoulder. There isn’t much left – he’s on his last couple of rounds.

Well, not that a few more bullets would make any difference.

His radio buzzes, indicating a message from central command. Sliding down further against the marble banister, Gaku yells to make himself heard over the din. “Hello?”

“Gaku! Where are you now?”

It’s his father, but all formalities have been dropped and there’s a very real sense of urgency in Sosuke’s voice that he’s never quite heard before. 

Immediately, Gaku’s mind flies to the worst-case scenarios. Had the other groups gotten lost? Were they unable to get reinforcements, and now his father’s about to tell him to take out the target directly? If that’s the case, they’re all shit out of luck; although he and Ryuu succeeded in catching up to the government official for a while, it had been impossible to get a clear shot and they’d soon lost him in the ensuing cat-and-mouse chase around the building. For all Gaku knows, he could be long gone.

“I’m in the north hall,” he says, and braces himself. “What’s going on?”

“Fall back!”

Gaku blanches. “Huh?”

“Fall back, Gaku!” Sosuke repeats, his words coming just short of a shout. “Reinforcements are in place outside, and the other units are circling in from within. You’ve bought enough time, now get out of there before you’re overwhelmed!”

Oh. 

His father is _worried_. Gaku can’t remember the last time Sosuke had ever shown such genuine concern for him, and it stirs up a bittersweet feeling in his chest.

“...Thanks, old man.”

He switches off the radio before his father can say more.

Because the reality is that Sosuke’s order had come too late. Both Gaku and Ryuu had been pinned to the far side of the hall, cowering behind a pair of cracked pillars and using what little ammo they have left to keep the government soldiers at bay. There’s little to no cover from here to the door – if they so much as take a single step, they’ll be immediately mowed down by suppressing fire. 

They’re trapped here, and it’s only a matter of time before they run out of ammo.

But even then, it’s not his style to just roll over and die. Peeking briefly around the corner, Gaku nudges Ryuu with his heel. “Hey,” he says hoarsely. “You heard my dad’s orders, right? Time to get out, what do you say?”

“Yeah,” Ryuu pants, and somehow manages a feeble smile. In many ways, he’d always been the strongest of their three-man team. “You got a plan?”

“It’s a crappy one, but beggars can’t be choosers,” Gaku takes a deep breath. “On the count of three, you run out the left side and I’ll go right.”

“...You weren’t kidding about the plan being crappy.”

“Like you have a better idea,” Gaku retorts, moving to crouch. “One, two–”

He moves before counting to three.

 _I’m TRIGGER’s leader_ , Gaku can still remember himself saying, so long ago. _No matter what happens, I’ll do everything I can to protect the two of you_.

That holds true, even now. If he moves first, he’ll get the enemies’ attention. If he can draw the initial fire, then it’ll still give Ryuu a fighting chance. If his two teammates survive, then there will be no regrets. 

The crack of the first gunshot makes his teeth clench, but there is no pain. Assuming a lucky miss, Gaku keeps running. Somehow, he gets far enough to slide behind the next pillar.

What he hears next is the unmistakable _thump_ of a body hitting the ground. Gaku’s heart drops to the pit of his stomach, but the one being shot down is not Ryuu.

It’s a government soldier. 

Right before his disbelieving eyes, several other shots ring out in quick succession. The soldiers before the doorway drop one by one, falling to the ground like puppets with their strings cut to reveal a very familiar figure behind them.

“ _Tenn?!_ ”

“...Seriously,” Tenn lowers his pistol, and Gaku’s heart soars at the sight of him. “What would you guys do without me?”

“We wouldn’t have lasted another minute!” Letting out an exuberant laugh, Ryuu runs out from behind cover to greet him. “Thank you, I...I didn’t…”

He notices it at the same time Gaku does; the awful patches of red on Tenn’s clothes, the ghostly pallor of his skin, the way he wheezes when speaking as if he can’t suck enough air into his lungs. Still, they’re caught off guard when Tenn takes a step forwards them and stumbles, his legs buckling under him.

Gaku dives forward, catching Tenn before he can hit the ground. When he lifts his hand from Tenn’s side, it comes away wet.

As the realization sinks in, all of his earlier euphoria fades, making way for cold, numbing horror as blood continues to seep through Tenn’s cloak. It soaks into his shirt and pants, rapidly pooling on the ground around them. 

“No,” he moans. “No, no, _no,_ when did you–?”

Cradling Tenn close, he attempts to press down on the profusely-bleeding puncture on Tenn’s abdomen though it’s far from the only wound on his body. Gaku’s dimly aware of Ryuu doing the same, bundling up his cloak and pressing it against his side. 

It’s no use. The bleeding won’t stop.

There’s a clatter as Tenn’s gun drops from numb fingers, his body sinking limp and heavy into Gaku’s arms. “There were...soldiers everywhere. I couldn’t,” Tenn pauses, coughing weakly. “Couldn’t...always sneak past them.”

“But I sent you away,” Gaku chokes out. 

“I ran into...Izumi Mitsuki...on my way back.” A spark of something fierce flares up in Tenn’s gaze, but it fades just as quickly, as if he hadn’t the energy to maintain it. His chest heaves with every shallow, rasping breath. “He...hurt his leg. Couldn’t move. But he told me...where I should...have gone.”

Shame washes over Gaku. He can’t bring himself to respond. 

“I was so...so angry,” Tenn continues tremulously, his words becoming more and more stilted. “I was...going to yell at you...was going to tell you...I definitely...won’t forgive you. But...right now,” he closes his eyes, letting out a little sigh. “I…I’m just glad...I made it in time.”

Hot, salty tears spill down Gaku’s cheeks. “Don’t say any more,” he whispers. “Just stay with me, okay? Where’s your first aid bag?”

“Left it...Izumi...he needed...” 

“That’s okay,” Gaku’s hand trembles as he presses down harder on the wound. “Stay with me. We’ll get you to a medic right away.”

But Tenn doesn’t appear to have heard him. His skin had gone deathly pale, cold and clammy to the touch. With such injuries, he must have only made it here through sheer determination alone – and now that energy was fading fast. 

“Tenn,” Gaku begs again, his voice breaking. “ _Please._ ”

With effort, Tenn’s glazed-over eyes refocus back onto him. “As long...as you’re safe...” he murmurs, bloodied lips tilting up into the ghost of a smile. “Didn’t I...say…”

His mouth continues to move, but all that comes out is a wet, wheezing sound as Tenn’s last words fade silently away. 

The clamour of battle continues to ring out all around them. However, Gaku’s entire world had narrowed down to the still, broken boy in his arms. The first sob comes unbidden, then the second and third, faster and faster until Gaku is bent over Tenn’s lifeless body, his shoulders shaking with each muffled cry.

“Tenn, please... _I’m sorry_ , please…! Don’t...don’t go…”

If the three of them had gone as a team– if they had been watching each other’s backs from the beginning, if Tenn hadn’t been forced to make the trek alone, if Gaku hadn’t _taken the choice away from him_ , would he–?

But it’s too late now.

Aside from his own wretched sobs, there is only silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before the Crescent Rise MV came out, I saw a couple pieces of fanart that involved Tenn dying in Gaku's arms, and I've been pretty much unable to get it out of my mind ever since. This fic was pretty much the result. I'm thinking that Tenn's death shouldn't have come as much of a surprise lol, but I could be wrong? 
> 
> And as for Tenn's last words...well, take a guess ;)
> 
> We still have the epilogue to go, and it'll be up in a couple of days! In the meantime, please leave a comment or kudos and let me know what you think. I'm on twitter **[@redigitizing](https://twitter.com/redigitizing)** <3


	4. Epilogue

It’s a bright, sunny day. Even with the clinic’s windows closed, Riku can hear lively music drifting all the way from the town square.

“Aren’t you going to go out, Riku-kun?”

“Me?” Riku turns back to his patient, waving him off with a laugh. “Oh, I don’t know. I can’t leave the clinic, and there’s no one who can take my place.”

“What about Tenn-kun? He’s been away for a long time, actually,” the old man ponders. “Do you know when he’s coming back?”

“...Soon, I hope.”

After all, the war is _over_ now. Almost everyone is outside, celebrating the freedom they’ve finally obtained from the government’s imposing presence – and regardless of what may come next, they’re optimistic that tomorrow will be a brighter day.

But Riku is only waiting for one person. And he doesn’t feel like he can celebrate, until that person has returned.

Quickly filling in the last of the prescription, he presses the piece of paper into his patient’s hands. “Anyways, here you go! Remember to take the medicine on time, okay?” 

The old man assures him that he will, and Riku sees him off with a smile before retreating back into his room. The rest of the afternoon is reserved for walk-in clinics, so he’s free to catch up on other work in the meantime. Riku's in the midst of organizing his papers when another knock sounds on the door.

He opens the door, expecting to see another patient. But instead, it’s–

“Yaotome-san?”

Gaku stands there alone, his gaze downcast. There is a tiny ruby pendant sitting on his outstretched palm.

“I’m sorry,” Gaku’s voice is very soft. “Tenn would have wanted for you to have this.”

For a moment, Riku simply stands there with blank, uncomprehending eyes. He looks between the pendant and the pained expression Gaku’s face – then, craning his neck, Riku tries to peer around him.

Gaku never visits by himself. Tenn-nii should be with him, Tenn-nii’s _always_ with him–

–And yet, there is no one there.

The silence stretches on with neither of them moving. Then, very slowly, Riku reaches forward and takes Tenn’s pendant within trembling hands. The crimson jewel glimmers as it catches in the bright sunlight.

He feels as though he’s going to be sick.

“...Give him back.”

Riku's voice shakes. Gaku flinches, shoulders slumped and drawn in on himself like a weary, defeated shadow of the man he once was. Riku clutches tightly at Tenn’s pendant and draws it close to his chest, furious tears beading at the corner of his eyes.

“Give him back to me,” he repeats, and this time his words catch on the edge of a sob. “Give him back to me! How _dare_ you show up alone!”

“Nanase, I–”

“I don’t want your stupid apologies!” Riku screams. Somewhere in the back of his head, he recognizes that the man in front of him is suffering just as much, maybe _more_ – but in that moment, he just can’t bring himself to care. “Give me back my brother! You took Tenn-nii from me,” he screws his eyes shut, tears slipping down. “You stole him away, and now I’ll never– _never_ , get to see him again…!”

Gaku doesn’t say anything as Riku screams and yells, doesn’t even lift a finger in his own defense when Riku finally breaks down in sobs and begins to beat his fists against him. Only when he looks up does he realize that Gaku is crying, too.

The last time he’d seen Tenn seems like a lifetime ago, when Tenn had stood on this very doorstep and hugged him goodbye.

 _Don’t cry, Riku_ , Tenn had said, and clasped Riku's hands between his own. _When I come back, let’s run the clinic together just like old times. Gaku will open a restaurant here, and we’ll settle down properly._

Riku had smiled through his tears, reminded Tenn not to push himself too hard, and watched as his brother walked away. _Tenn-nii will come back soon_ , he told himself, like he did month after month, year after year. _Wait a little more, just a little longer–_

But that had been their farewell.

There is now an empty space between him and Gaku, while memories of those happier times slipped through his fingers and disappeared like smoke. The person they’re both waiting for will never return.

There is nothing left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally gonna post it yesterday but then I realized that it was April Fool's, and this epilogue isn't very funny. But here, look, **[cotton_thistle](https://twitter.com/cotton_thistle)** has drawn another lovely piece of art to go along with the fic **[here!](https://twitter.com/cotton_thistle/status/1245842897510879232)** Please check it out!!
> 
> I don't write tragedies very often, but this was how I've always envisioned for this to end and that didn't change even as the rest of the fic got away from me haha. I'm not likely to visit this universe again, even though I did have some thoughts on the "start" of it all - namely, the details of how Gaku and Tenn came to meet and fall in love in the first place. I suppose that could be a hypothetical prequel, if I ever get around to it.
> 
> Some of you are also aware that I have a long-term project in a Hoshimeguri AU called "Star Light, Star Bright." That's going to be my main focus from now on, and you can expect an update in about a week's time!
> 
> As always, please leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed this fic! I'm on twitter **[@redigitizing](https://twitter.com/redigitizing)** <3


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